San attitudes towards sex and marriage.

I enjoyed reading the personal story about Nisa from the San tribe. Her life seemed simple in its pleasures yet difficult in its ways of survival. I want to address the question posed by the author “What does her account indicate about San attitudes towards sex and marriage? How might you compare those attitudes with those of contemporary society?

It appears that Nisa was a virgin when she married her first husband, Tashay. She was young and scared. It was an arranged marriage, although she didn’t talk about Tashay’s status and what this marriage meant for her family (if it meant anything at all) as she had to be comforted and calmed about the meaning and intention of marriage and what her husband would be to her. Immediately she was told that she would hold her husband up as she does her father and brother because his purpose is to provide for her. She said she began to love him and miss him when he was gone, both on hunting trips and after his death; she said she had grown up.

After Tashay’s death, Nisa married four more times. She didn’t go into detail about all of those marriages but she did say that throughout her marriages she had many affairs, and so did at least one of her husbands. Nisa said that God gives to them but God also takes things away. Specifically, Nisa said that God gave her people affairs. Sex was an approved act by their God and both the men and women live by that; affairs are normal for their people.

In today’s world, specifically in the US, affairs are frowned upon. Having an affair or even multiple affairs can ruin relationships and end marriages/unions. We live in a world that values monogamy and those that practice polygamy are distrusted and even hated by both men and women (think of the show “Sister Wives” and how much cr@p he receives for having 4 wives.

Polygamy has been practiced for centuries and has/had occurred in many cultures. Although there are individuals in the US who choose to have multiple partners, I do not predict that this way of life will come back as an accepted form of marriage across the board in the US.

I do want to comment that her story was a bit different than the overall view of sex within the Sans. Monogomy was more common, sex between the youth was common but rape was not talked about much.